Quotes from Research with Children and Young People

Please read on to hear what children and young people have to say about health professionals and what they need us to do and who they need us to be.

Coram Voice, part of the Coram Group of charities, is a leading children’s rights charity that get young voices heard in decisions that matter to them. It works to improve the lives of children in care, care leavers and others who depend upon the help of the state.

Please read on to hear what children and young people have to say about health professionals and what they need us to do and who they need us to be.

Introduction

Coram Voice works with children and young people who have experience of the care system. They understand what it feels like when services get things right—and when they do not.

Children and young people recognise that healthcare professionals are working to keep them safe, healthy, and supported. The decisions made by professionals have a significant impact. There is real power in protecting, standing up for children and young people, and helping to change futures for the better.

Every child and young person matters. They deserve care that acknowledges individuality, respects their rights, and supports them to grow. Healthcare professionals play a vital role in making that possible. The difference between feeling invisible and feeling valued can often come down to the actions of just one person.

“Sometimes you just need one person to care about you to make you believe that you matter.”

– care-experienced young person

Protecting children and young people—especially those with increased vulnerabilities—is not always easy. But when it is done well, it makes a lasting difference. Care-experienced children and young people remember the people who made them feel safe, respected, and believed in.

“Telling our stories to professionals is hard – it can be triggering, and we have to share very personal information with people we don’t know.”

– Care-experienced young person

 

Children in care – their voice and experience

Being in care

“I feel healthy, safe, and supported. From what my life was like 3 years ago it is now much, much better.”

– Child aged 11‑18years

“It is not bad being in care and I feel safe, and I like it.”

– Care experienced child aged 8-10years

“My foster carer listens to me and speaks up for me when I can’t say things to other people.”

– Care experienced child aged 8-10years

“I actually feel so safe now and that means I don’t get hit by mum or dad and don’t have to hear them swear and hear them arguing. My foster parents are so kind, loving, and so funny!”

– Care experienced child aged 8-10years

“Being placed in a stable foster placement with people who care about me is what makes me feel, happy and settled and helps me to do well.”

– Care experienced child aged 8-10years

“Living with Nana and granddad is fun. She normally takes us out to see fun things like going to the cinema.”

– Care experienced child aged 4-7years

Social workers

“I have enjoyed working with my social workers and I am so grateful for all the support whilst I’ve been in care.”

– Care experienced child aged 11-18years

“My social worker is also the sweetest person, she’s absolutely amazing and always asks me how I am feeling about certain things and ensures everything is going smoothly.”

– Child aged 11-18years

Decisions about me

“I feel like when my social worker and other professionals have a meeting and it concerns me when neither me or my mom are involved, it makes me feel anxious of what has got said …. and what I get told second-hand may not be true.”

– Care experienced child aged 11-18years

“If go to doctors, dentist etc. I have to explain I am a child in care.”

– Care experienced child aged 11-18years

Statement from a young person

“In the past when I have told people that I am a care leaver, especially when talking to professionals, I end up either getting strange looks, invasive questions and or discriminated against, for example I have been denied service at some shops because they have overheard me say that I’m from care. In my time of this I have began to feel different and isolated because of my experience. So in my work I wanted to capture the feeling of trying to get help specifically within the NHS and the anxiety that comes with that as well as the roadblock in getting anywhere just because of the label care experienced. Everyone including care experienced people deserve adequate care from the people who are supposed to help us and I feel that it is important for the NHS to know what they are doing at the moment and to work to improve for the future so that care experienced people get the same support and help as everyone else does”

– – Care experienced young person aged 18-25years

Advice from children and young people

Listen to us — and believe us

Children and young people want professionals to take their time to listen to them about what is happening and what’s important to them.

Communicate clearly and honestly

Children and young people want clear and honest communication. Clearly explain what’s happening when it will happen and why. Be upfront about what you can and can’t do.

“Will you tell us when you are sharing information? Tell us who this is going to and why. Confidentiality is important to us.” 

– Care experienced young person

” Even if the decision they want is not in their best interest, [young people] should understand why these things cannot happen.”

– Care experienced young person

Build trusting relationships

What you say matters—but how you say it matters just as much.

“It was in the tone, body language, facial expressions and communication style used that made the difference.”

– Care experienced young person

Be kind, calm and consistent. Show children and young people that they matter. Sometimes just one person believing in them makes all the difference.

“Sometimes you just need one person to care about you to make you believe that you matter.”

– Care experienced young person

Understand our experience

Children and young people want trauma-informed care – safety, trustworthiness, choice, collaboration, empowerment and cultural consideration.

“Don’t judge us. Try to understand what we’ve been through.”

– Care experienced young person

Respect our needs and give us time

Don’t rush or overload children and young people. Give space and flexibility, especially when life is already overwhelming.

“Give me space if I need it.”

– Care experienced young person

Prioritise care and belonging

Children and young people want the same things all children and young people want love, care, stability and support. They are children and young people first.

Keep us involved in decisions

Children and young people want to be part of the decisions that shape their lives. This is a right under the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.

“Nothing about us, without us.”

– Care experienced young person

 “The decisions made about our lives are often out of our control… It creates chaos and fear in young people which lasts a lifetime.”

– Care experienced young person

Don’t stereotype us

Being care-experienced doesn’t make children and young people lesser or broken. Needing a social worker doesn’t make them more difficult or challenging.

Create safe, inclusive spaces

Whether it’s a hospital, clinic, school or meeting room—make sure it feels welcoming, private, and safe to open up.

Support our emotional health and well-being

Children and young people consistently say that being able to talk to someone they trust helps them cope emotionally.

“Your mental health impacts everything; everyday life, education, just getting up in the morning.”

– Care experienced young person

“[I would like] people to take notice of when I’m feeling down to talk to me, as I’m bad at going to people.”

– Care experienced young person

Our message to you

“You have the power to transform lives. For children and young people like me, the system can be the difference between struggling to survive or finding the confidence to thrive.”

– Care experienced young person

Children and young people tell us that they are not statistics. They are future leaders, artists, carers, teachers, and innovators. But they can only reach their potential if professionals ‘work with us, not just for us’.

Safeguarding is everybody’s business—but listening to us is where it starts.

About Coram Voice

Coram Voice, part of the Coram Group of charities, is a leading children’s rights charity that get young voices heard in decisions that matter to them. It works to improve the lives of children in care, care leavers and others who depend upon the help of the state. We:

  • make sure children know their rights and helps them to navigate the system, challenge decisions and make sure their rights and well-being are protected.
  • empower children to have a role in decision-making processes.
  • improve the system and help them know that someone is listening and taking action.

During almost fifty years of experience championing the voice of those in the care system we have seen that real and effective change can only happen when the voice of those with lived experience is at the heart of the change-making process.

References

All quotes from children and young people have been drawn by the following reports:

10,000 children and young people in care share views on their wellbeing in largest survey of its kind

www.coramvoice.org.uk/latest/10000-children-and-young-people-in-care-share-views-on-their-wellbeing-in-largest-survey-of-its-kind/

Listening and engaging with care experienced individuals: A good practice guide

https://www.local.gov.uk/publications/listening-and-engaging-care-experienced-individuals-good-practice-guide

Messages to the Children’s Minister from the ANV Network of care experienced children and young people

https://coramvoice.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2025/03/Messages-to-the-Childrens-Minister-from-the-ANV-Network-of-care-experienced-children-and-young-people.pdf

Disability, Disparity and Demand report

https://coramvoice.org.uk/resource-library/disability-disparity-and-demand/

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